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Gift Registry
Tips
Alright, we know,
looking for your gown is fun, but…. Registering is really fun!
When else do you get to go out, pick out everything you want and
people actually go out and buy it?!? Pretty cool, huh.
Gift registries have sure changed a lot. Just a
few decades ago, most brides got married right from their parents'
home. Now, many of us have already set up our own household and
have many of our basic household needs met. Gift registries have
kept pace. How about registering for towels, fine china, a
cordless drill and a canoe? What about a tent with that tea set?
Welcome to the new millennium!
So how does a bride decide? With her groom! You
really do need to get your groom involved here. You might consider
browsing and picking out the items together and then you go back
later to take care of the formal registering, which can take an
hour or two! He'll be sleeping on those sheets and eating on those
plates too. He's got the right to have his opinion count.
How the Gift
Registries Work
Some
folks will know "the perfect gift" for you (whether you think it's
so perfect is another matter). But, most of your guests,
especially those who have been married, will appreciate knowing
what you would like. These guests understand you might not want a
lime-green lava lamp, or that you do. Gift registries also help
minimize duplicate gifts.
Look for stores that offer a wide variety of
items. You'll probably be registering for towels, sheets,
housewares, cutlery, small appliances, china, dinnerware,
flatware, hollow-ware and so on. Registering at large stores
and/or online, helps your guests find the widest selection of your
registry at one location.
You'll be registering for low-price items and
high-price items to help cover the budgets of your many guests.
When you register consider who your guests will be. For example,
if the majority of your guests will be college-age, their budgets
can't afford fine china or crystal, so you'll need more low to
mid-priced items. However, if many of your family and friends are
older or, even more established in their careers, they can afford,
and will want to give, more mid to high-priced items.
A major department store or major registry, like
you'll find at Gift Registry Central, can help keep track of what
you want, what you've gotten and what you still need. This really
helps cut down on getting too many plates and not enough glasses
or duplicate gifts. You can even go into the store or online to
update your list. So, if someone sends you a gift that's on your
list but from a different store, you can keep your list current.
The beauty of the sites at Gift Registry Central
is that you can register at so many different stores all at one
stop. Your guests can literally be anywhere and just log on to
send you exactly what you want.
Certainly, there are some wonderful boutique,
specialty shops where you can register. Go ahead and register with
them. Do also register at a store with a wider scope. Otherwise,
your guests who live far away or who are unfamiliar with the
boutique won't know what you want.
Before you register, be sure to find out their
policy on returns and exchanges. For example, if you receive 12
place settings of china, but only 8 glasses, you'll want to be
able to return china and get extra glasses. Do not expect to be
able to get a cash refund. Do look for an open exchange policy or
store credit. Many stores even offer a discount, often called a
"completion discount," to you so that after your wedding you can
buy the things you didn't receive as gifts. Find out about how
they handle gifts that are damaged during shipping. Hopefully, the
store will replace it without the sender ever having to know.
What to
Register For
Just
about anything you can think of, you can register for. The
traditional items are things like cookware, dishes, china, linens,
small appliances. Although now even sporting goods stores and
hardware stores have gift registries.
Refer to Our Gift Registry Worksheet for help on
developing your list. Take the worksheets with you to the stores.
Fill in your preferences and then register at the store or through
Gift Registry Central.
Spread the
Word
Yes, some
stores will give you little cards to include in invitations to
tell your guests where you're registered. Do NOT use them! They
are the very height of tacky, low-class, gauche. There is no such
thing as an "elegant insert card." No matter how you dress them
up, they're still tacky. Remember your grandmother telling you
that you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear, this is what
she was talking about!
The only proper way to spread the word is
verbally. If someone asks you, your family or friends, you should
mention where you have registered. As others throw showers in your
honor, if they write on the shower invitation where you are
registered, while not truly proper, can be overlooked - because it
is, technically, out of your control.
When to
Register
The
people closest to you will probably want to buy you gifts
throughout your engagement. If you're planning a small dinner to
announce your engagement, some guests might like to give you a
small gift at that time. Then, of course, there are the showers.
And, the wedding. On top of that, etiquette dictates that your
guests have up to one year after your wedding to present a timely
wedding gift!
When you get engaged, we suggest a quickie
registry. Take a quick spin through the store and register for a
few smaller things that people can give as engagement presents and
early shower gifts. You can wait to do your full-blown registry
for a couple of months. The one big rule - wait to register for
linens, towels and sheets! Styles and colors on these items can
change pretty fast. Wait to register for these items until about 6
months before your wedding.
The following time-line will help give you a
good idea of when to register and update. Click here for a
printable worksheet version.
9 - 12 Months Before Your Wedding
Complete
your quickie registry. Register for a few items now so guests at
engagement or early showers will know what you'd like. Now is not
the time people will be buying the "big gift," so keep your list
to medium to low-priced items, with maybe only a couple of
expensive items. Some stores require that you make an appointment.
If you'll be registering online, you can click here to print out
our shopping list to take with you to the store when you go
looking.
Start browsing and narrowing down your Fine China and Crystal
selections. Once you have decided on your Fine China it will be
easier to select flatware and complimentary hollow-ware.
Wait to register for linens, towels and sheets. Colors and
styles could be discontinued before your wedding and then you'd
have to re-register.
6 - 9 Months Before Your Wedding
Complete
your full registry now. Some stores require that you make an
appointment. If you'll be registering online, you can click here
to print out our shopping list to take with you to the store when
you go looking.
If you completed a quickie or earlier registry, make sure all
gifts have been properly accounted and that your registry needs
are current.
Make sure everything you registered for is still current.
Ask the store to tell you if there's anything on your list
that is being discontinued. If so, replace the item with a
substitute.
Now's the time to add your linens, towels and sheets.
Be sure to keep your registry current. At least every other
week, log on or go into the store to make sure there are still
plenty of things for your guests to choose from.
2 - 5 Months Before Your Wedding
Go through your
complete list of what you registered for and what you've received.
Compare it to what the store's records show. You've had a few
showers by now and your wedding is fast approaching, so you need
to make sure the registry is up to date.
Reconfirm with the stores that everything on your list is
current and not in jeopardy of being discontinued.
Consider adding items to your list now.
Start logging on every week to make sure there is still plenty
to choose from.
The Month Before the Wedding
Log on every day.
Make sure every gift is reflected on your list.
The gifts really will start coming quickly now. You'll need to
really stay on top of your thank-you writing now! Remember that
the thank-you needs to be received by the person who gave you the
gift within 2 weeks!
If you will be moving after your wedding, change the "send to"
address on your registries now. If you can't use your new address,
consider using your work address or your groom's work address.
After the Wedding
Double check that
you have sent out all your thank-you notes!
Go over your registry to determine what you still need.
Return and exchange duplicate gifts or gifts you don't want.
Some stores ask that you make an appointment to do this.
Update your registry. After all, guests have one year to give
their gift. Many of your family and close friends will choose from
your registry for birthdays and your first anniversary.
Gift Helper
Damaged Gifts
- Hopefully, you registered at a reputable store. The major gift
registry stores will promptly replace any damaged gift. Be sure to
keep all of the original packing material. If you know the store
where the gift was bought, do not let the sender know the gift was
damaged. If you cannot determine where the gift was purchased,
gently let the sender know the gift was damaged in shipping so
that they can claim the shipping insurance and replace the gift.
Duplicate Gifts
- Even with the most well tended registry, duplicates are
inevitable. Always thank the sender without letting them know the
gift was a duplicate. Just exchange the item for something else
you want. And, never, never let the giver know you exchanged the
gift.
Gifts at the
Reception
- Unfortunately, guests will bring gifts to the wedding. After
your wedding, you will understand why this is so inconvenient and
you will know better the next time you're a guest. Have an out of
the way table set up to receive the gifts. Be sure to situate the
table well away from doors so gifts will be less likely to walk
away on their own. You will have to ask a family member or wedding
party member to gather up these gifts and deliver them to your
home.
Cancelled Wedding
- All gifts must be returned. Did you already use that new juicer?
You'll have to go out and buy an identical one to return to the
sender. Include a short note to the effect that the gift was
lovely, thank the sender, but the wedding has been cancelled. No
one will expect a lengthier explanation.
Postponed Wedding
- You may keep the gifts. However, you must still send your
thank-you notes promptly.
"Regifting"
- Whenever I hear the word "regift," Jerry, George, Elaine and
Kramer always come to mind. Don't regift. Just don't. Return the
gift or donate it to charity. If you don't want it, why would you
want to give it to someone else? When they get it, they'll laugh
about it to their friends, who are probably the exact people who
gave it to you!
Gift
Registry Worksheets
Click Here
to go to our Gift Registry Worksheets that you can print out!
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