So if your reception will take about 38% of your budget, who gets the rest? We're glad you asked. The following chart will give you the average breakdown of expenditures in the US.
 

This might be helpful too. The most recent figures show that the average wedding in the US costs about $20,000. There are an average of 200 guests and 5 bridesmaids. Here's a breakdown of average US wedding expenditures.
 

Who Pays?
Ah, the big question. You and your groom need to sit down together and determine if you will be paying for your wedding yourselves or if your parents will pay for some or all. The outline below provides the customary division of who pays for what.
 

Expenses of the Bride & Bride's Family

• Bridal Consultant's fees.
• Bride's wedding gown, shoes and accessories.
• Wedding invitations, inserts, thank you notes, stationery and postage.
• Flowers for ceremony and reception (except bride's bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages).
• Ceremony costs (except officiant's fee).
• Reception costs.
• Photography.
• Videography.
• All Musicians, Soloists and/or DJ.
• Transportation of bride's attendants and bride's family to and from ceremony.
• Transportation of bride's attendants and bride's family to and from reception.
• Bride's gifts to bridesmaids and flower girl.
• Bride's gift to her groom.
• Groom's wedding ring.
• Security guards, if necessary.
• Traffic control, if necessary.
• Transportation and accommodations for bride's family.
• Accommodations for bridesmaids and flower girl.
• Optional - Bridesmaids' and flower girl's dresses, shoes and accessories.
• Bridesmaid Luncheon or Dinner.

Expenses of the Groom & Groom's Family

• Groom's attire, shoes and accessories.
• Optional - Attire for Groomsmen and Ushers.
• Bride's bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages (mothers, grandmothers, bride's going-away).
• Officiant's fee.
• Marriage license, blood tests and physical exams.
• Groom's gift to groomsmen and ushers.
• Groom's gift to his bride.
• Engagement ring.
• Bride's wedding ring.
• Transportation of groomsmen, ushers and groom's family to and from ceremony.
• Transportation of groomsmen, ushers and groom's family to and from reception.
• Honeymoon expenses.
• Rehearsal Dinner.
• Bachelor Dinner.
• Transportation and accommodations for groom's family.
• Accommodations for groomsmen and ushers.

Expenses of the Bridesmaids

• Their attire, shoes and accessories, if not provided by bride.
• Contribution to bridesmaid's group gift.
• Individual wedding gift.
• Their own transportation and accommodations, if not provided by bride.

Expenses of the Groomsmen and Ushers

• Their attire, shoes and accessories.
• Bachelor Dinner.
• Contribution to groomsmen's group gift.
• Individual wedding gift.
• Their own transportation and accommodations, if not provided by groom.

It is interesting to note, that now 4 out of 5 engaged couples pay for some or all of their weddings. Nothing is set in stone. Often when one family has greater financial resources than the other family, they will offer to pay for some of the extras. When this is the case, you need to be very sensitive that feelings are not hurt. For example, the groom's family is more prosperous than the bride's family. The groom's family might offer to buy the bride's attire. The bride's family could be offended. If you'd like to accept the groom's family's offer, a tactful way to handle it could be to ask that both mother's join you on your shopping trip and accept the gift as a reimbursement. In other words, you pay and then let the groom's family pay you back. Tell the groom's family how much you appreciate their generosity, explain that you don't want your own family to be hurt and that their opinions matter to you too. It is tricky and odds are someone's feelings will be hurt. It's up to you to ensure that everyone gets along - like you don't have enough to do!
 

Money often comes with strings attached. You and your groom will have to decide together how to handle that. If your folks are paying for the music, they're going to want a band or DJ who plays their "kind of music." If someone is paying for something, their opinion does count. Yes, it is your wedding. But, if it's not your money, you need to be a little flexible. You are going to love your wedding - I promise. If your mom wants stuffed mushrooms and she's paying for the food, get them and something you like. A marriage is built on compromises, get used to that now.

 

"They Won't Pay!"
"My parents won't pay their fair share!" is something I've heard again and again. Some of the nicest women I know have become like an impudent, spoiled child who throws a temper tantrum over a candy bar. Look, let's get this straight, no one says your parents have to pay for anything. Don't "expect" or "demand" it. Write your congressman; there is no law that says a parent has to pay for their child's wedding. By the time you're old enough to get married, they've done their jobs. Remember the clothes, the braces, shoes, doctors, food… that was their "fair share."
 

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Go into this with the feeling of gratefulness and graciousness. Whatever your family can or will pay for, thank them, thank them, thank them. Your mom was right - you do catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Make a Wish List
Men don't get it when it comes to weddings. Alright, that's a sweeping generalization. But, I'll stick by it and say it again - Men don't get it. Little girls love weddings. Remember grabbing one of your mother's white slips and putting it over your head like a veil? I can't prove this but I think that most of us had our wedding pretty well planned by the time we turned twelve. Think of it this way - General Schwarzkopf can plan one helluva war, but would you want him to plan your wedding? Thought not. So, take it easy on your groom; it's not his fault he's useless at wedding planning, he's a boy. Be honest, do you really want your groom totally involved?
 

That said, now is the time to make your wish list. Get a piece of paper and write out your dream wedding. Using the categories below, pretend there is no budget to worry about. Want a sit-down reception? Write it down. Want the church filled with flowers? Write it down. Enjoy.